Showing posts with label Processing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Processing. Show all posts

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Sometimes you have to Pause. And Poise yourself for what's next.

I have this eerie feeling lately, and I can't shake it.

I have certainly been going through mounds of internal changes which are absolutely still integrating themselves through me, so maybe that's why.

But something that is present with me almost constantly lately is this awareness of how nothing about the way I've come to view myself, my life, or what I should or even could be doing with any of it is exactly right.

Something has so profoundly shifted somewhere that every exploratory step into the new seems tainted by old ideas. Even old, dependable things no longer seem quite right to me. And I find myself reaching for a new viewpoint where it can feel right and make felt-sense to me again.

It's a bit frustrating, since I can't quite find the shift I know is right... there ... just on the edge of my conscious understanding. But it's also exciting. I can feel the shifting even if I haven't quite fully arrived there will all my pieces and parts.

Friday, April 12, 2013

Self-Sabotage... Entering Negotiations!

Grand Prismatic Spring in Yellowstone National Park
Self-sabotage is a powerful force... and usually an unconscious one.

You don't feel it coming, except you see the evidence of wreckage in your life. You will see it by its fruits.

The inner Saboteurs residing in our subconscious psyche are always trying to keep us safe, so it's not like they are trying to hurt us.

They are generally trying to help save us from some horrid fate or, in my case, the threat of (perceived) death.  

But the reality is that we can outgrow the wisdom of our Saboteurs. We need different boundaries than the ones they are enforcing. 

Today, I had a "come to Jesus" moment with recognizing some powerful Saboteur energy running my life these days. 

Monday, April 8, 2013

Tired to the bone. (A massive shift.)

Geez I'm tired.

Do you know that kind of tired that comes when you've had plenty of sleep - technically - and you wake up tired? You nap if you can, but you stay tired. You're tired until it's time to go to bed again. And you wake up tired, and do it all over the next day.

I've been here before, and I recognize the location.

It's not depression, though there are emotional ebbs and flows. There are some very old emotional states coming back up as they are processing out.

I'm also sure it's not some sort of sudden physical malfunction.

It's just a shift. A shift in my patterns in a big way. It's been quite a whirlwind lately. Lots and lots of things are shifting and finding new levels lately, and some very deep and old things letting go.

I see the tracks of it in my thoughts, my sudden insights, my view of very old things rearranging itself. So much new space within showing up.

That's a lot of hustle and bustle going on at the subtle levels. A lot of heavy lifting at the less than fully conscious levels.

Everything looks different from here already. And this bit is not over yet.

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Deconstructing Boundaries: When Fences Become Walls

I'm all about the boundary-setting. I think it's a damn fine idea to draw lines that keep you feeling good in your world. They keep the bad, distracting, yucky stuff out, and create space for all the good stuff you want to cultivate. Not that I draw them perfectly (meh - who does?), but I am definitely willing to draw them.

But... I'm questioning my usual approach to them right now.

I received some energy healing yesterday from the amazing Jo Dunning, and I woke up today feeling really differently (and a little uncomfortable) about how I've been doing this whole boundaries thing in my world.


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