Showing posts with label Change. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Change. Show all posts

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Sometimes you have to Pause. And Poise yourself for what's next.

I have this eerie feeling lately, and I can't shake it.

I have certainly been going through mounds of internal changes which are absolutely still integrating themselves through me, so maybe that's why.

But something that is present with me almost constantly lately is this awareness of how nothing about the way I've come to view myself, my life, or what I should or even could be doing with any of it is exactly right.

Something has so profoundly shifted somewhere that every exploratory step into the new seems tainted by old ideas. Even old, dependable things no longer seem quite right to me. And I find myself reaching for a new viewpoint where it can feel right and make felt-sense to me again.

It's a bit frustrating, since I can't quite find the shift I know is right... there ... just on the edge of my conscious understanding. But it's also exciting. I can feel the shifting even if I haven't quite fully arrived there will all my pieces and parts.

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

You're Here On Purpose. (And you can't screw it up.)

You. Me. Everyone and everything... here on purpose. 

That's what I've felt and believed ever since I can remember.

I hear people talk about how you can be "off" purpose or that somehow you can do your life wrong.

And every time I hear it, I know it's not true.

I don't know how I know it. But I know it.

And it's not that I never spin out with worry about whether I'm doing my life "right"... the mind generates worry, and I can be a worrier.

It's that I always come back to that deep touchstone inside that just KNOWS I cannot mess this up, even if my mind likes to spin scary stories.

Monday, April 8, 2013

Tired to the bone. (A massive shift.)

Geez I'm tired.

Do you know that kind of tired that comes when you've had plenty of sleep - technically - and you wake up tired? You nap if you can, but you stay tired. You're tired until it's time to go to bed again. And you wake up tired, and do it all over the next day.

I've been here before, and I recognize the location.

It's not depression, though there are emotional ebbs and flows. There are some very old emotional states coming back up as they are processing out.

I'm also sure it's not some sort of sudden physical malfunction.

It's just a shift. A shift in my patterns in a big way. It's been quite a whirlwind lately. Lots and lots of things are shifting and finding new levels lately, and some very deep and old things letting go.

I see the tracks of it in my thoughts, my sudden insights, my view of very old things rearranging itself. So much new space within showing up.

That's a lot of hustle and bustle going on at the subtle levels. A lot of heavy lifting at the less than fully conscious levels.

Everything looks different from here already. And this bit is not over yet.

Monday, March 18, 2013

Fail Spectacularly!

I'm considering a shift in my approach to living my life... something new to try, because my current approach is just not working at this point.

I'm blocked up, beset with fears, anxieties, etc. that just drain the life out of me sometimes and at other times just make is so hard to do that which I want to do.

A lot of those fears are about failure, and the ego hit of failing. The ego hit I give to myself.

Maybe you're something like me?

I was raised to be and have generally been a high achiever, and all that pressure at some point generates a tipping point. At least it has in me.

At some point, it can root itself as fear of failing, fear of making mistakes, fears of not measuring up to other people's (and my own now internalized) standards - inauthentic though they may be.

And that equals fear of risk, taking chances, stepping out of your lines and doing something new that you might, actually, fail at doing.

That has literally terrified me much of my life. And there's a profound deadness somewhere that comes from living that way.

But what would happen if, instead of trying something new with the trepidation that I might fail, I actually decide I'm going to throw myself into things and fail spectacularly?

Tuesday, February 26, 2013


Hi there, Friendly Readers and Generally Awesome People!

I confess: I screwed myself up.  

In trying to give this blog some definition and focus, I tried to narrow down what sorts of things I'd be sharing here, and it turns out that I stifled my self-expression and slowed my posting to almost a complete halt. 

Methinks it was just too soon to lock it down into a format, per se. So, I'm un-locking it, and seeing where it naturally goes.

Sunday, February 5, 2012

Real Change Takes Real Guts

True, lasting change that goes against the mainstream is hard. The road is rocky and sometimes uncertain. It's lonely. The outcome is not guaranteed.

But when you commit strongly enough to follow through on a vision, you do it because you simply cannot stay where you are. There is nothing to do but move forward into the unknown, find your path, and walk it.

Fear, pain, and discomfort walk alongside for a while. It's just part of the process of breaking through into the new. Don't expect it to be any different.

Just prepare yourself for the challenges that will come, because it's a Hero's and Heroine's journey.

And, when Life calls you this way, know you are made for it.

Thursday, September 22, 2011

What's Stopping You?

Change.  Self-inflicted, err... self-induced change... and how to uncover what's stopping you from moving forward.  That's today's topic!

Monday, May 9, 2011

A Prayer for Ease and Grace

Where I am today:
When you find that somehow the landscape of your life has changed, and the people, tools, and structures you've always relied upon are no longer reliable or even safe... that's a personal 9.0 earthquake/tsunami/nuclear meltdown.  
Clearly, a massive shift is being called forth.  
I strive to calm myself in order to find the way.  Or to be still enough to let it find me.  
These are times of huge shifts - the nature and impact of which we cannot fully even comprehend.  At least I can't.

(And I don't think that's even the objective.  Sometimes the quest to understand is simply a way to delay/distance/try to stay safe rather than to simply accept and move to the new space we're being urged to move toward.)

I have a mounting awareness of a new space being prepared for me to move into.  A new cosmic zip code.  And right now... it's slightly terrifying.

This is my prayer for me.  And if it suits you, I offer it for you, too (just an offer, but good anytime!):
I call for Divine Grace to help me accept what is, just as it is right now, knowing that all is exactly as it is Divinely Designed to be, and to provide me with a loving, smooth, easy transition to the next level of my experience.  
I call for the personal alignment on all levels of my Being to help me allow this loving and comfortable ease to blossom and flourish in my experience of Life.  
Thank you.  I receive it now.
I wish you a peaceful heart full of love and comfort tonight and always,


Tuesday, April 26, 2011

A Fresh Start.

Hi there!  For those of you who don't know me, I'm Orilea.  Welcome to my blogging fresh start.

I took a fairly long hiatus from the blogosphere, and to be honest, I wasn't exactly rolling on here before that.  You see, I've been going through a lot of shifts, and I had aggregated a bunch of them and felt so different that for the blog as well as generally in my life, I needed to just erase and at least quasi- start over.  The thing is, I’ve been on this roller coaster of restarts for a while, though not with the recent depth and velocity.

So, this is me.  Version whatever.  (I've lost count.)  The blog I'll just call version 2.0.  Hello!


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