Showing posts with label Boundaries. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Boundaries. Show all posts

Friday, June 7, 2013

Being an Empath and Getting Hijacked

Some days, I wonder about the light side of being an Empath, because the tough side can be really rough going.

I was walking into a Joann's fabric store, picking up some goodies for a project, when a man, a woman, and two very small children were leaving. It seemed she was either the children's mother or the man's girlfriend.

As they were approaching the doorway to come outside, I heard the woman say in a very harsh, loud, and exasperated voice, "GOD!! I can never get any shopping done with these kids around!!!" It was venomous.

I was shocked, not that she would feel that way, but that she would say that in front of those tiny babies (maybe 3 or 4 years old?), and I was aware of being sad for the kids to have to deal with a person like that, saying those kinds of things about them, in front of them.

But I promptly got on with my errand and didn't think too much about it after the initial 'Whoa! That's crazy', reaction I had.

Cut to two days later...

Saturday, June 1, 2013

Shhhhh... I'm hunting wabbits!

In the immortal words of Elmer Fudd, "Ssssshhhhh! Be vewy, vewy quiet... I'm hunting wabbits!"

Well, not wabbits exactly, but I'm hunting other stuff. Personal world stuff. And, apparently, it's very -very- sensitive to being talked about. 

In fact, it prefers the sounds of silence! Silencio! *waves magic wand* 

This goes beyond the idea of self-talk or word choice. No, it's not like that at all. 

And it's something different from the ol' "don't disperse energy by talking about it". That's when you have some big goal or plan, and you start talking about it to some people or lots of people and it somehow runs down the little mountain of excitement and energy you're sitting on until you don't even care if you do it anymore. You lose steam and that's it. It never happens.

That's a real thing, but it's not like that this time. It's something different.

Saturday, May 25, 2013

Plugging the Facebook Drain

Now, don't get me wrong... I do enjoy all the inspirational, thoughtful posts, the adorable animals, and many of the good people I'm connected to via Facebook.

But. BUT!

Whenever I find myself needing to consolidate my energy to do something in my life (including just going through inner transitions that require my energy to be more available), I always feel the pull to deactivate my account. 

Today was one of those days where I answered that call. It's always a tough decision to make, because I do get some very good things from Facebook. But I just needed to pull my energy out of there and back to myself. 

Curiously, just logging out and not logging back on for a while is not enough. I'm still energetically present there if all I do is log out. People can peep me, and I get the energetic 'hit'. And I'm still actively plugged into the Facebook field when my profile is visible, even if no one is hitting my profile directly. 

But I literally and energetically disappear from there when I deactivate! And the slow, silent leak of energy stops. {Bliss.} I get a very noticeable amount of energy back almost immediately and just feel more energetically solid. And it builds into a surplus over time if I stay off for even a few days. A few weeks off can be downright transformational! 

Given the profound difference, it does concern me a bit as to how much Facebook actually drains me on a regular basis. I fantasize sometimes about truly disappearing from there altogether as in killing my account. 

But I balance that concern with the nourishing benefits I feel I get at other times when I do feel I have the energy for it. I have had amazing moments of inspiration, understanding and connection there. 

Still, if you find you're needing some extra juice for something in your world, or you just have the intuitive hit to take a thorough break from Facebook however long or short, I highly recommend deactivating whenever you need it. (Currently, that option is in your Security settings.) 

Do you deactivate occasionally? What have you found when deactivating vs. just logging out? Curious how others have felt the difference, if you've tried it. 

As for me, I'm currently not sharing my energy on the 'Book and feeling goooood! 


Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Deconstructing Boundaries: When Fences Become Walls

I'm all about the boundary-setting. I think it's a damn fine idea to draw lines that keep you feeling good in your world. They keep the bad, distracting, yucky stuff out, and create space for all the good stuff you want to cultivate. Not that I draw them perfectly (meh - who does?), but I am definitely willing to draw them.

But... I'm questioning my usual approach to them right now.

I received some energy healing yesterday from the amazing Jo Dunning, and I woke up today feeling really differently (and a little uncomfortable) about how I've been doing this whole boundaries thing in my world.

Sunday, March 25, 2012

Snap Out of It! (The Trance of Unconditional Love)

Unconditional Love has come up as a topic in my world a lot.

I usually hear it talked about like it's the gold standard of loving people or being loved by them.

It's often referred to in romantic connections, though it's also an implicit standard among platonic involvements. Most people, however, seem to be falling painfully short in finding this elusive ideal.

A recent batch of fresh conversation about this kind of love and the pain of not having it got me thinking again about the whole topic of Unconditional Love.


Friday, January 13, 2012

Quit Trying to Fix Me -- I Am Not Broken!

Supporting others, and being supported properly are passions of mine. This is probably because most people do this so badly, and as a sensitive person, I've been keenly aware of this fact.

So, naturally, when I recently saw this picture, it really hit home.

I wish people would understand that when others (or when I) show vulnerability or expose a difficult moment, it does NOT equal weakness, breakage, or any sort of wrongness or badness.

Do you want to help support someone in that kind of moment?

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Getting and Giving Support

I had a really raw and vulnerable experience recently that gave me a lot of clarity about showing up for people when they're in pain of some kind.

Somehow, though I was the one in pain, I was able to be present in some way differently than before, and observe the experience in a way that was new to me.  I learned some great things!  I wanted to share my thoughts and conclusions in case it's useful for you, too.

So, here's what I discovered.

The people who cannot yet be with their own pain, cannot be with mine.

There are people who I really, really want to turn to who cannot be with me when I'm in the super raw and painful place.

I'm so vulnerable at that point, and they need to show up right or it's going to hurt more.

And, let's face it, it's not like I don't know they have problems and inconsistencies in how they show up for me.

But... I didn't realize WHY until this last time.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Manipulative "Friends"

What do you do when someone who is allegedly a friend lays their first guilt trip on you for not doing something they want you to do?

I was faced with this very question this past weekend.

A casual acquaintance had come to town in preparation for moving here and wanted to see me.  OK so far, but I didn't have the bandwidth.  So, I let her know via text that I couldn't this time, and wished her a fun and fruitful visit.  The next thing shocked me:  she tried to lay a guilt trip on me for "not making time in my schedule to see her". 



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