Showing posts with label Awareness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Awareness. Show all posts

November 7, 2013

The Only Thing That Matters (Back Then, Right Now, and In the End)


I'm beginning to understand why people say that in the end, and underneath everything, the only thing - the ONLY thing - that matters is Love. The love you feel, the love you share, the love you sow, the love you express, the love vibration you *are* into the world.

The doing thing does itself. It's the being thing that only we, each of us, can bring uniquely to the table of Life. The being thing is the only reason we are here. And Love is the only valid aspect of Being. It's the only True Thing, in The Land of the Truest Things.

All else is a kaleidoscope from it -- yes, even apparent states of non-Love only exist because the Love that runs through everything, that we are, creates that option.

LOVE.

Not the human aspects of Love exclusively, but the generative aspects of Love being ALL THERE ACTUALLY IS.

Yes. Love is the only thing that matters in the end -- both the human aspects of it and the more cosmic, generation and sustenance aspects of it as a vibration which springs forth and maintains the Everything.

And you ARE that Love.

Less Doing (and worry about Doing). More Being. More Being Love.



August 4, 2013

Stuck in "Good Girl" Fixing and Helping Mode


I had an insight the other night. (Just before my period started, as usual.)

It had started coming to me earlier in the week, but I’d forgotten it after it had crossed my mind until a couple days later when it came back to me hard in the midst of a midnight chat with my Mom.

And it was so exciting to see!

The gist is this:

I am brainwashed and hung up on ‘helping’ and ‘fixing’ people. When all I REALLY want to do in my life is self-express. 

The freely self-expressed little girl... 
But from a very early age, I was bent toward care taking, helping, fixing other people. Mostly, I think this was due to my Mother who has never been very healthy or fended well for herself in life. 

But it’s also been the expectations of my Grandmother and others in my family who appreciated a girl child who was ‘helpful’ and ‘caring’ and ‘did for others’. 

And it’s not that I don’t enjoy doing that! Sometimes. I enjoy it sometimes.

It’s that it was entrained and built into / onto me as what I should do, as my primary value, and as the primary way I relate to people. 

UGH.

May 7, 2013

Sometimes you have to Pause. And Poise yourself for what's next.

I have this eerie feeling lately, and I can't shake it.

I have certainly been going through mounds of internal changes which are absolutely still integrating themselves through me, so maybe that's why.

But something that is present with me almost constantly lately is this awareness of how nothing about the way I've come to view myself, my life, or what I should or even could be doing with any of it is exactly right.

Something has so profoundly shifted somewhere that every exploratory step into the new seems tainted by old ideas. Even old, dependable things no longer seem quite right to me. And I find myself reaching for a new viewpoint where it can feel right and make felt-sense to me again.

It's a bit frustrating, since I can't quite find the shift I know is right... there ... just on the edge of my conscious understanding. But it's also exciting. I can feel the shifting even if I haven't quite fully arrived there will all my pieces and parts.

April 3, 2013

Deconstructing Boundaries: When Fences Become Walls


I'm all about the boundary-setting. I think it's a damn fine idea to draw lines that keep you feeling good in your world. They keep the bad, distracting, yucky stuff out, and create space for all the good stuff you want to cultivate. Not that I draw them perfectly (meh - who does?), but I am definitely willing to draw them.

But... I'm questioning my usual approach to them right now.

I received some energy healing yesterday from the amazing Jo Dunning, and I woke up today feeling really differently (and a little uncomfortable) about how I've been doing this whole boundaries thing in my world.

March 22, 2012

Grounded and Present in 2 Seconds Flat!


I know. That's quite a claim!  I'm as shocked having experienced it as you are perhaps in disbelief reading that title. But, for me, it happened. This is now a real thing. A repeatable thing!

March 19, 2012

Finding the Invisible Options

Longleat Maze, UK

I was talking with a dear friend yesterday, and I suddenly realized that this past week I’ve had a brand new awareness brewing in me... a new understanding of Options.

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